BornAgainAmerican.org

Waning Confidence...

That is the reality of my situation...I really don't know any other way to put what I am feeling as of late into words. I know that I need to continue to lean on and trust God in all things right now. But my belief in myself to get things done is diminishing everyday. For the most part I enjoy my job, but I do feel less and less prepared and equiped to do my job in every way physically, emotionally, and mentally. I am trying with everything I am to not take this job at any more value than just that: a job...it's not personal I tell myself. However, this is something I am passionate about...telling stories of the past...so that the present and future may truly learn from their past. So how can you not take something that is a passion for you as something personal? Honestly, I don't know the answer to that. I miss my friends, my family, and I really miss the mountains and wide open landscape...it is hard living where you don't feel like you have people near by whom you can truly trust and lean on when needed. I realize it is stressful for everyone during the current crisis that we all find ourselves in everyday and I am not trying to whine or complain or even sound like I am depressed. I suppose the best way to describe it: I am just feeling pretty beat down and beat up. I still don't know where I am going to live...I have now been denied by every available apartment complex that has places for rent...through no ones fault other than my own, I shouldn't have taken out student loans and I should have found ways to pay them back quicker since I did...so that is my fault and I will take full responsibility for that. I just don't understand how when I have proof of a good rental history for the past 10 years and I am also employed by one of the largest and most reputable companies in the area...all I can do at this point is turn to and lean on God, His word, and the power of prayer. Something good will come out of all of this...

However for now my confidence in my abilities to do all things and any things (not a spelling error) is waning....

The 44 Presidents of the United States...All 43 of them...

Crazy Times...

Life has been crazy as of late...still it has had its moments. Tonight I got to go with a few co-workers down to Norfolk, VA to watch another Admirals hockey game. The Norfolk Admirals are the AHL Affiliate of the NHL's Tampa Bay Lightning.

Tonight was the 2nd Annual Pink in the Rink, Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure Event. We all had a lot of fun, even though the Admirals managed to blow a 5-1 1st period lead by losing 5-6 in sudden death over time to the Worcester (Mass.) Sharks -- you guessed it the farm team of the current NHL leaders, the San Jose Sharks...
The craziest part of this whole event was the pink ice hockey arena...I swear to you that the picture you see in the upper left of this blog that the ice is actually pink! I took the picture with my cell phone so it didn't turn out quite as nice as I would have liked but trust me the ice is pink.

Well, it's getting late and I have to be at church early in the morning as I will be performing a duo theatrical piece during the service....I still am searching for either a roommate or a new place to live as things are very tough here, I feel blessed to even get an night away and enjoy myself instead of worrying how I am going to pay bills and how to not end up homeless for a change...Good night everybody!

The Odd Couple...

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J-Mac, "Hot As A Pistol" Gets His Shot...

Talk about making the most of your opportunities...how incredible is it that in in the final 4 and a half minutes of the game, this kid who had never played a game in high school, became the high scorer for the game, 7 for 13, 6 of 10 from three point range...just imagine if they had used him the previous 3 years as player as opposed to the manager! Wow!

Christmastide 2008 Night #9-13...Twelfth Night it is...

Okay so I have been terrible lately at keeping up the Christmastide blogs...sorry. I have had some minor issues with internet connectivity...I have however made sure that I kept up with my Christmastide schedule. I have had a great time watching these old Christmas classics.

I was able to spend the evening with some co-workers on New Year's Eve watching the ball drop in NYC...it was interesting to me that this year was the first time I have ever seen the ball drop live on TV...growing up on the West Coast all I ever got to watch was the three hour tape delayed version.

This morning I got to spend sometime with another Hoffman graduate and classmate who was in town with her family...it was really nice to re-connect with her. This afternoon I had a job interview...I am trying to find a second job so that I might be able to find a way to continue to live and work here. I would honestly prefer to just work my one job but it has become clear that there is no way I can make it here on my single income...I have had no luck replacing my roommate and I continue to get denied at apartments all around town for one reason or another...all I can do at this point is just pray and pray some more that things might turn around soon...cause at this point I am pretty stressed and defeated if I sit back and look at my situation...so praying at least helps me get away from that...

Hopefully everyone has had a wonderful Christmas season...I know it has been a struggle for me and hasn't exactly gone as planned but it has had its moments and honestly wasn't at all bad...plus the movies have been great.

Christmastide 2008 Night #8....

First I must say GO BEAVS!!

That's right, the Oregon State Beavers won the Sun Bowl this evening...not a terribly exciting game as had been expected, but the 3-0 finish was enough to give the Beavers the win and to keep the PAC-10 Conference undefeated in the 2008-09 Bowl Season.

After getting home and seeing that OSU had won the game I went to work prepping and cooking up some Hop 'n' John...this is a traditional meal made on New Year's, it is supposed to bring good luck in the New Year. And as I could definitely use some good luck to come my way I said what the hey and gave it a shot. There are many recipes out there for this dish and according to my sister who has the new Rachel Ray Cookbook there is even a 30 minute easy version of Hop 'n' John. I, however, chose to go old school and make mine from scratch. I soaked some black eyed peas overnight...then tonight, I boiled up some ham hocks until I could remove all the meat from the hocks so that I could brown them up with some bacon that I had sliced up into bite sized pieces...while this was all going on I prepared some white rice and when it was all ready to go I mixed all the ingredients up. Added some salt and pepper to taste and threw in some pepper ketchup (that's the hop, part)...as I ended up taking this dish to some friends house later in the night I chose not to add too much pepper ketchup (that's hot sauce for all those still wondering) and took the peppper ketchup with me so everyone could add the hop to their own liking...it turned out really well and even if it doesn't bring good luck it sure tasted good! Here's the finished product:


After finishing the Hop 'n' John, I watched tonight's double feature of A Muppet Family Christmas and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I had a wonderful evening of singing along to all the Christmas carols with all of Jim Henson's Muppets and then enjoyed the misadventures of the Griswold family.

When the movies were over I then went over to a friends house to watch the ball drop in New York City, live on tv...I must admit tonight was the first time I had ever watched the ball drop live on tv, growing up out West you only ever saw the tape delayed version so it was pretty cool to say I saw the ball drop live. I made sure to call a few people back home to let them know I got to see something they still have to wait hours yet to see!

I hope that everyone has a bit of luck of their own in this New Year and that we all will find some time to meet up for some quality time...I miss and love you all!