29 October 2007

INTO THE WILD or the Pursuit of Happiness.

Today I went and saw Sean Penn’s new movie INTO THE WILD based upon the book by Jon Krakauer of the same name. Krakauer based his book upon the life and “adventures” of Chris McCandless. McCandless was a college educated 23 year old raised in a middle class family just outside the Nation’s Capital. Shortly after graduating from Emory University in Georgia, McCandless donated his life savings to charity and began to wander across the country. He made every effort to escape from any link to his previous 23 years on Earth and all links to society. He would alternate from settled periods were he would work odd jobs to make money to periods where he live without money and very limited human contact of any kind. He managed, against most odds, to survive several dangerous events that for all intensive purposes should have taken his life, from a flash flood that claimed his car, to inexperienced kayaking down the Colorado River, and a sandstorm in Mexico that had him holed up in a cave for some 30 plus days. All of this leading up to his dream of making into the wilds of Alaska for his “Alaskan Odyssey,” his plan was to live for years off the land, far away from civilization, and would keep a journal of his physical and spiritual progress as he challenged nature in his attempts at survival.

To be fair, I did like the movie. The scenery was amazing and the idea of trekking throughout the countryside meeting all sorts of different people does have its own sort of appeal and mystic. Unfortunately the main character was not compelling in any way. He had a blatant disregard for those around him, even when you thought life and adventure had kicked him down to the point where he would reconnect with his sister, or take the advice of a friendly South Dakotan or old war vet, he doesn’t. Instead he continues to live with reckless abandon and carelessness that would ultimately lead to his downfall and demise. Throughout his adventures he believes that self-reliance, ego, and self-will will carry him through any circumstance. What I have found most compelling about McCandless’ situation is that there are many people who idealize this man for what he did, he is immortalized in Krakauer’s book, in Penn’s film, and there are even more still who use his life as a guidebook for their own. Yet I still ask, ‘Why is that?’

So this kid decides to donate his life savings ($24,000) to charity (starving kids in Africa) and then head off on adventure to escape society and the traditional roles it plays in peoples lives. Does this make him a hero? An idealist? Maybe. However, I don’t think so. He wanted out…out of his life, out of his family, and quite possibly out of this world. Was it really an “Alaskan Odyssey” or a suicide mission? After reading an essay by Alaskan Park Ranger Peter Christian I tend to believe it was the later.

What stuck me the most was what Christian had to say on the matter. Christian arrived in Alaska in 1992, the same year as McCandless, he also was about the same age. Christian served his first few years as a Park Ranger in Denali National Park, very near where McCandless’ body was discovered. The question I ask, just as Christian asks, “Why is McCandless’ story the one that gets immortalized?” Both young men had a seemingly similar dream to survive off the land in the Alaskan wilderness. To challenge themselves against nature, yet Christian survives and McCandless doesn’t.

What I found amazing was Christian’s take on the legacy that McCandless left behind and what really happened in that summer of 1992, the last of Chris McCandless life: “I am exposed continually to what I will call the 'McCandless Phenomenon.' People, nearly always young men, come to Alaska to challenge themselves against an unforgiving wilderness landscape where convenience of access and possibility of rescue are practically nonexistent ... When you consider McCandless from my perspective, you quickly see that what he did wasn’t even particularly daring, just stupid, tragic, and inconsiderate. First off, he spent very little time learning how to actually live in the wild. He arrived at the Stampede Trail without even a map of the area. If he had a good map he could have walked out of his predicament ... Essentially, Chris McCandless committed suicide.”

McCandless without regard to family, friends, or those around him went off on an adventure, an adventure he claimed was his dream to live a Thoreau-like period of solitary away from society and human contact. He would write of his adventures and maybe one day write a book, that I suppose he felt he could come back to the society he so desperately despised and would try to sell. Some feel this man was an idealist who went on this adventure for all the right reasons and that we should look up to him for this. Most people that know of this story, book, and this man will read this post with anger and frustration with my opinion of him, as they say I did not know or understand him, to which I say ‘very true.’

Yet, I cannot look at this situation in any other way then to say he was selfish and careless. He lived his life with disregard for others, others in his family, and those he met along his journey trying to heed him in his steps and redirect his destructive path. “How is that?” you ask.

Look at it this way. He graduates from college and immediately sets off on an adventure that no one in his family is aware of and leaves no way of finding him, even arranging for all his mail to be held at the post office for 30 days so that the return to sender mail isn’t sent back to his parents until he has had a sufficient head start. At no time does he contact in any way the sister he is reported to have had the best relationship with. Along the way many people offer to aide McCandless and encourage him not to go to Alaska. Even the very last man to see him alive offers to give McCandless a map of the Stampede Trail Wilderness Area, where his body would eventually be found some four months later, and McCandless refused this man’s map and efforts to take him to Anchorage instead to get proper supplies. Instead, of accepting the advice and assistance of all these people he insists on heading off unprepared into the wild.

It is said that it is nearly impossible for anyone to starve to death in this portion of Alaska in the summertime, yet that is exactly the fate that McCandless met. Krakauer believes the death by starvation McCandless suffered was caused by ingesting the seeds of the wild potato, which McCandless wrote about eating and blamed for his debilitating final illness. However, they are not commonly known to be poisonous, and the root of the plant is edible, there is evidence that the seeds contain an alkaloid which prevents glucose utilization. Yet, Dr. Thomas Clausen, of the University of Alaska Fairbanks, carried out extensive tests on the seed and found there were no toxins or alkaloids. Note that this is the theory that Krakauer presents in his book on McCandless, and differs from the earlier theory he related in his article for Outside magazine, about a second plant — Hedysarum boreale mackenzii, a wild sweet pea plant — resembling the wild potato and known to be poisonous. Yet, in the most recent edition of his book, Krakauer has slightly modified his theory regarding the cause of McCandless' death. He believes the seeds of the wild potato had been moldy, and it is the mold that contributed to the seeds' toxicity, yet even this newest theory cannot be proven.

Apparently, there is evidence that McCandless was ready to leave Alaska. He felt that he had succeeded in his efforts to survive in Alaska after several months, not several years as he first intended. But once he decided to leave the way he knew was out had become blocked. For whatever reason he fails to discover any other possibilities for walking out of the wilderness, and had he had that map offered to him four months earlier he would have noted several possible exits and routes of escape. He was only six miles from a hand-operated tram that traversed the river blocking his path, and 20 miles by trail to the Alaskan Park’s Highway. I mean, how did he think the abandon bus he was living in had come to be abandoned there in the first place…it at one time had traveled that trail by first arriving on the Park’s Highway.

I think this story is a tragedy. Not a heroic adventure tale. And it is not a tragedy in the traditional sense. This character, Chris McCandless aka Alexendar Supertramp, was on a mission, a mission to lose it all, to lose himself. There is no heroism in that, there is noting admirable in that, it is just a sad story. And what makes this story tragic is what he found in the end: “Happiness is only real when it is shared.”

Here he was, starving in the wild of Alaska, without anyone or anything around him. He had all that he was searching for…to be free…away from everyone and everything. And what he finally realized is that being free of people, objects, money, and things was not the answer to happiness. What he failed to realize his entire life and during his journey was what all those along the way were trying to show him. That happiness comes from being with others, having that connection to human life and relationships. That happiness that was created in the second chapter of Genesis, by God himself: “The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it…Then the Lord said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed.” (Gen. 2:15-23 NLT)

McCandless lost everything in order to find true happiness and only then discovered that true happiness is only real when shared. Something he never did his whole life…true he gave away his money to charity, but was that sharing or was that his attempt to rid himself of things and society? Throughout his journey in life many people stepped forward in effort to share their life with Chris McCandless and he refused their efforts, his sister, Wes is South Dakota, Ron in Arizona, the travelers along the way. All because he sought a false truth and happiness and in the end realized where true happiness lied.

As I continue on my path in life may I continue to seek after God’s Will and His happiness. May I be mindful of those around me…past, present, and future who wish to share the experiences of life together. And may I never forget, that just as God intended, and McCandless found out all to late:

HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED.

25 October 2007

So the Red Sox Win Game 1 and I am a history geek...

Now I have lived in the Pacific Northwest pretty much all my life. And a lot of my loyalties lie with Northwest teams when it comes to sports, and yes, the Colorado Rockies got their start out here. As a matter of fact, the very first group of players to take the field for the Rockies organization did so right here in the community of Bend, Oregon where I currently reside. In 1991 Colorado was announced as one of the winners of two expansion teams that would join Major League Baseball during the1993 season. In 1992, the previously independent team, Bend Bucks, became known as the Bend Rockies. The Bend Rockies were the very first farm team of the new expansion Major League team Colorado Rockies. It took some convincing to have the owners of the Bend Bucks change their name to the Bend Rockies, but eventually money and the promise of a better class of ballplayers won them over and the name was changed. The Bend Rockies did alright that first year, winning their division of the Northwest League, before losing the championship to the Bellingham Mariners. Of course, considering the Bend Rockies were taking advantage of using the expansion Colorado Rockies 13 1st round draft picks this was really not all that surprising of a feat. This team would only play two more seasons in Bend, before the ownership moved them to Portland in 1995 and eventually to Tri-Cities, Washington in 2001. The thing I find interesting is that the Colorado Rockies have always saw to it that the Northwest Farm team be named after its parent organization. That is until they moved to the Tri-Cities. First the Bend Bucks became the Bend Rockies, then the Portland Rockies, but since 2001 they have been the Tri-City Dust Devils. Ok, so despite all connections to the Northwest I must confess: I HAVE NO LOYALTY TO THE COLORADO ROCKIES AND I HOPE BOSTON WINS THE WORLD SERIES!!!

The Red Sox win tonight...One game down and three more wins will give them another World Series Championship. Needless to say I am just a little excited at that prospect. I recently have had a few people make the comment that they had no idea that I was such a Red Sox fan. All it took to convince them was 1) I do have Irish blood in me, along with a few other ethnic groups as I am a true American Mutt, however, I like to think the Irish is the stronger of the mix and 2) since I was born in 1979 the Red Sox have only been to the World Series three times now, and have only one once (2004) I am hoping by November 2nd I will be able to say I have seen the Red Sox win the World Series twice in my lifetime. So here's to that!!
I think the fact that I am a history geek also has a little something to do with my appreciation for the Red Sox. This is a team with a whole lot of American History under its belt. This team is one of eight charter teams from the original American League, of course at the time they weren't known as the Red Sox, they were the Boston Americans. Anyone who knows me, knows I would have a hard time rooting against any team who was known as the Americans (for those of you knew me back when, did you ever see me root against the Tri-City Americans? No, I think not...especially when they were wiping the ice with the Kamloops Blazers). Ok, back to baseball. Now, I am not the Jimmy Fallon character from the movie FEVER PITCH, I don't watch every game all year long...but I do keep track, check records, see whose leading their division, who looks like they have a chance when the playoffs roll around. And yes, when the playoffs roll around I do follow the post-season games of baseball on TBS, TNT, and FOX...and yes if the Boston Red Sox are in it I am rooting and watching them until the end. GO RED SOX!!!

22 October 2007

What is your SHAPE? Lesson one: Spiritual Gifts

Pastor Randy has officially kicked off the new series at church, S.H.A.P.E. What is your shape? Well, maybe the best way to determine your shape is to break it down and work from there. So, here is the breakdown for the series:

• S = Spiritual Gifts
• H = Heart
• A = Abilities
• P = Personality
• E = Experiences

To be honest about this series, I have been both excited and terrified about it at the same time. Why? You ask. Well, because I pretty much knew this series was going to hit home pretty hard. I need to get into shape in so many ways these days, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. This week’s topic, Spiritual Gifts, hit home particularly hard as this is something I have been struggling with since losing my job recently.

For those of you who have known me for any length of time are aware of where my heart and passions lie, in the theatre. I love to act and perform. The theatre, any theatre, is where I feel most alive and most “at home” and many of you are aware of that. Since losing my job, and even in the several weeks leading up to my termination, I have done a lot of thinking of “how am I using my theatre skills and abilities for God?” There have been many times in my past where I felt like every performance I gave, regardless of location, was a performance directed by God, Himself. From doing theatre on the streets of Belfast, Northern Ireland, with Youth For Christ, to performing at the collegiate level, and even as the Director of Theatre at First Assembly in Pendleton.

It didn’t matter if it was a secular show or a church function it felt like I was right where God wanted me, using the gifts and abilities He had given me just as He had intended for them to be used. Over the years, it would seem that I have gotten away from performing “in the church” or “for the church.” While I still prayed before every show that God would use me and my giftings to affect even one life for Him (a tradition started at age 14, thanks to my high school director, Rem) a lot of my performances have felt more about entertainment than anything else.

I am not saying that every performance has to be a “Christian” one, as Rem pointed out my Senior year, “Stephan, when you perform, you affect people in one of two ways, for the good or for the bad, there is no in between.”

He was right, that year I won the State Acting Championship with a friend and she and I placed 2nd at the International Thespian Festival in Lincoln, Nebraska later tat same year. My friend and I put together a weekend of performances of the full length version of the show our competition piece was based on. Opening night was possibly the worst night of theatre I have ever been associated with, however, that night affected many lives. One man had kept an engagement ring in his pocket for three weeks waiting for the perfect moment to propose, after seeing the show, he proposed in the lobby because he didn’t want to live one more day without her. Another man called his pastor and asked to buy 25 tickets for his adult Sunday school class, ‘cause this show had shown him there are only two ways to live your life and he was on the wrong path.

Keep in mind this show had nothing to do with Christianity, or God, or church for that matter. The only connection to God was that both performers were Christians and that we prayed together before each rehearsal and show. I am not kidding when I say the opening night was horrible, and it totally showed me that it has nothing to do with my words or abilities, that Rem was right, shows affect people both for the good and the bad. And God was powerful enough, and skilled enough to take our worst show ever and turn it into good for His glory.

So of course with all these memories on my mind, I attended Sunday morning’s service with some trepidation on my part. I have felt recently like I was failing to use my gifts and abilities the way in which God has intended and I felt like this message would be very convicting. I wasn’t too far off…

Pastor titled the message “The ‘ABC’s’ of Spiritual Gifts.” He proceeded to breakdown Spiritual Gifts and their importance to us, for it says in 1 Corinthians 12:1 “I want you to understand about spiritual gifts.” This is how he broke it down:

• A = Awareness. What are Spiritual Gifts?
~ It is something EVERY Christian has. (1 Cor. 7:7)
~It is something GIVEN not earned or even willed. (Eph. 4:7)
~ It is something supernatural, not natural. (1 Cor. 12:4-6)
• B = Benefits. Why are Spiritual Gifts so important?
~ Others will be served. (1 Peter 4:10)
~ The Church will be strengthened. (1 Cor. 12:7)
~ You will be stable. (Eph. 4:14)
• C = Commitment. How can I use my gifts?
~ Discover your gifts! (1 Tim. 4:14) more on this in a minute
~ Dedicate your gifts! (Romans 6:13)
~ Develop your gifts! (2 Tim. 1:6)
~ Deploy your gifts! (Romans 12:6)

Yeah, all this is great right? But how do you really know whether or not you are using your gifts they way they were intended and how do you really know what those gifts are?

Well, I am going to disagree with the Pastor a little here, and feel free to disagree with me, but I think this is one of those things in life where “you know when you know.” Usually you hear that phrase when you ask some married couple how did you know you were marrying the right person, and they just say “Oh, you know, I just knew when I knew.”

I think deep down we all know what our Spiritual Giftings are, and we all definitely know or at least feel when we aren’t using them as God intended. Pastor Randy did give a quick breakdown on how to determine your giftings and I felt they are definitely useful:

• Examine: Study about Spiritual Gifts
• Evaluate: Look at what you are good at.
• Experiment: “Try” through serving.

He even mentioned asking others around you where they felt your giftings fit in. There are all kinds of books and online tests when it comes to this area of service to God. And I fully believe this is an area that I need improvement in, otherwise, I would not have so many nerves when it comes to approaching this issue. Somehow though I don’t think I am the only one…I think there are many Christians trying to find where they fit into this whole ‘church’ and ‘God’ stuff.

I will continue to pursue the answers to my questions about where I fit in and how exactly God wants me to use my giftings and where. And while I do this, my prayer will be that I remember the two most important parts from Sunday’s message, at least from my perspective: “Spiritual Gifts are about OTHER people” and “My Spiritual Gift is: the power to bless others.”

Dear God,
Please show me the way and the how to use the gifts you have given me. Give me the power, wisdom, and strength, to remove the focus from me and my life and show me how to use these gifts for your Will, your Glory, and for your Kingdom. Amen.

Let's Go Red Sox!!



They made it to the World Series and now it is time to sing loud and sing proud that the mighty Sox will down the mile high Cinderella boys. GO RED SOX!!!

For Boston, for Boston, we sing our proud refrain
for Boston, for Boston
'tis wisdom's earthly fane
for here are all one
and our hearts are true
and the towers on the heights
reach the heavens own blue.
for Boston, for Boston
'til the echoes ring again

For Boston, for Boston
thy glory is our own
for Boston, for Boston
'tis here that truth is known
and ever with a right
shall our heirs be found
'til time shall be no more
and thy work is crowned
for Boston, for Boston
thy glory is our own

19 October 2007

An Ominous Interview...

The Agent at the Employment Firm sets up this interview for me that I just got home from. It seemed fairly straightforward on the phone. I would be interviewing for a customer service/gatehouse position for a gated community...one of the many located throughout Central Oregon. The Employment Agent didn't know much outside of that. He gave me a location and a name of an interviewer along with the time of interview. Oh and a little advice: "Stephan, make sure you arrive on time, look sharp, nail it and then give me a call when it's over."

Thanks, I will keep all that in mind.

So there I was 10 minutes early to my interview, a reasonable amount of time not too early and definitely not late...although I am not going to lie, I had to triple check the address. I was there thinking I would be interviewing for a job with a gated community, thought maybe I would interview at a property management firm or something right? Boy, was I wrong...nope I had arrived at an accounting firm. Bookkeeping and accounting to be exact. And at 10 minutes before my interview the door was locked. Now I thought this was strange and I still wasn't 100% sure I was at the right spot. However, the Agent assured me I was and that maybe they were out to lunch still. Sure enough he was right. Three minutes before the interview I was let in the building by the secretary.

"Oh, you must be here for the interviews, you're early but come on in and have a seat in there."
I followed her instructions thinking, "My interview is in two minutes and I am early?"

Wow, so I sit down in this conference room filled with every item that the M&M company has ever offered through their M&M candy company...need a visual? Imagine a room filled with every possible non-edible M&M product that probably was offered by mailing in S&H charges along with 25 UPC labels of your favorite peanut M&M candy...that was the room.

Fifteen more minutes goes by and still I am in the room surround by the M&M cartoon characters on the shelves and walls. Finally a lady comes in and introduces herself, apparently she had Googled me or something, she seemed to know all there was about me and yet we had just met. "Oh, and you have a familiar face, have I seen you before?" We came to the conclusion she had seen me in a couple plays here in town.

Keep in mind I had been given a name by the Employment Agent...this lady was not the person I had been told I was meeting, but she assured me she was the one in charge. She laid out the job and its description, however, no specifics were ever revealed...and any search for details was answered with the classic movie line: "I can not reveal that at this time" or "At the moment I am not at liberty to say"

To be completely honest, I felt like I was in the Transformers movie interviewing for a staff position with Sector 7. Who knows how I did or if I will get the job, based upon the description of duties and what they are looking for I am more that qualified....so we'll see but I can't promise anything, if I am hired I may have to tell you: "If I tell you, I have to kill you!"

Well, I'm off to serve at some sorta banquet...'til next time!